Intensives

How to Earn Forgiveness From the Partner of the Sex Addict

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When sex addiction secrets are disclosed, the real work starts. Forgiveness, from the partner, must be earned by the sex addict through genuine acts of repentance and restitution. The hurt partner must work hard to let go of her resentments and need for retribution. If either party does not do the work, there can be no real forgiveness. Forgiving is not forgetting or pretending that it did not happen or that the behavior wasn’t such a big deal. Forgiving is also not excusing, condoning or tolerating. Your partner can forgive you without condoning what you did. Your partner may set firmer...

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Why Sex Addicts Lie

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Although most addicts lie to cover their tracks, the real fear is that if the partner knew the truth, there would be no way for her to forgive him. The addict fears the partner will leave. That fear of loss motivates the addict to lie more than anything. Addicts are famous for lies of omission. Do you recognize this situation? Your partner senses something is up. You don’t want to lie, so if she doesn’t ask you specifically, you do not offer the information.  Or perhaps you are worried that telling her the truth will hurt her so much, you can’t possibly do it, and so you deliberately...

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Am I a Sex Addict?

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Answering ‘Yes’ to just one question could be an indication of sexual addiction. Yes  No        1.  Have you tried and failed to stop your sexual impulses and behaviors? Yes  No        2.  Have you engaged in escalated sexual behaviors? Need different or more to get the same effect? Yes  No        3.  Have you tried to reduce or control your sexual impulses, but failed? Yes  No        4.  Do you spend more time than intended in order to engage in sexual behaviors? Yes  No        5.  Do you feel the desire is persistent and causes...

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What is Sex Addiction?

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Definition of Sex Addiction Sex addiction can refer to a range of sexual behaviors that are done in excess and significantly impact one’s life in a negative way (personally, financially, professionally). What Are the Different Types of Sexual Addictions? There are no distinct categories, but sexual addictions can come in different forms, including addiction to: Pornography. Prostitution. Masturbation or fantasy. Multiple Affairs Exhibition/Voyeurism. Other excessive sexual pursuits. What are the Signs, Symptoms, and Effects of a Sexual Addiction? Several signs can serve to indicate...

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What Causes an Addiction to Sex?

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Sexual addiction can develop due to factors that encompass all aspects of an individual’s life. I find sex addiction is most likely to form in childhood or the teen years.  The factors that lead to sex addiction are: Biological: Genes: You may have a genetic predisposition to emotional dysregulation, impulsivity, or sensation-seeking behavior. You may also have a predisposition to other traits that are commonly associated with sexual addiction, like anxiety or depression. Psychological: Environmental influences: Early-life environmental factors, including adverse events like abuse or...

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Similarities Between Sex Addiction and Drug Addiction

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Effects on the Brain Drug addiction and sex addiction have similar effects on the brain—both primarily influence the brain’s reward system through a neurotransmitter called dopamine. When a person satisfies a need or desire that is vital to survival or reproduction, dopamine is released, causing the person to experience pleasure or euphoria. This reinforces the expectation of reward and increases the desire to engage in the underlying behavior. The use of a drug stimulates the release of dopamine and mimics those behaviors necessary for survival, causing a person to become...

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