Am I Married to a Sex Addict?


In dealing with partners of sex addicts, what I find is “they know something is off with their spouse”, but become convinced by their partner they are crazy.  If this is your situation, you may be facing a sexually addicted spouse.  Sex addicts are very good at their game of deception.  They are secretive, deflective, and determined to hide all of the acting out behaviors.

Sex addicts are masters at deflecting negative comments about themselves, and implying that you are inferior in some way (i.e nagging, unloving, crazy, etc). It is crucial for you to recognize this pattern and stop your part in it.  Just wishing for him to stop his bad behavior is not going to make it happen. Partners of sex addicts deserve to be treated with respect. This process starts with respecting yourself enough to set boundaries with his behavior that feels disrespectful to you.

Here are key attributes you may be experiencing as a spouse of a sex addict:

  • Confused
  • Powerless
  • Feel something is “off” or “wrong”
  • Told you are crazy or imagining things
  • Your spouses attempt at convincing you everything is fine and denying all
  • Uncertainty
  • Hyper vigilance – you feel the need to go through his phone and credit card receipts
  • Your partner may not want to have sex with you at all or that you are not adventurous enough in the bedroom
  • Your partner is spending more unaccounted time at work or out of town
  • Your partner denies your feelings
  • Your partner is emotionally distant
  • When you talk about your partner’s behaviors he deflects back to you and your craziness or defects
  • Finding out your partner regularly views pornography or visits strip clubs
  • Secret phone calls or texts that disappear from his phone or that he tries to hide from you
  • He has visited sexual hookup sites (“out of curiosity”)

For the partner of sex addict, it can be a painful process with the sense of powerlessness because of the addict’s out-of-control behavior. Whether the partner is male or female the dynamics are the same. That is, the partner may not know what the addict is involved in, but she does know something is wrong. If the partner tries to discuss her feelings of uncertainty and confusion with the addict, he will probably steadfastly deny that anything is happening. Often the addict will tell his partner that you are imagining things, and that everything’s all right. The primary dynamic here is a denial of her feelings.

You and your spouse can recover from sexual addiction.  It takes a therapist trained and certified in sexual addictions to handle the dynamic of the relationship and to give a clear and concise path of healing.  Call today……we can help.

Suzanne would like to help her clients find happiness in life.  Are you depressed or anxious wondering how you can get through the next day? Do you feel over-worked and under-appreciated?  Do you have a difficult maintaining your weight, managing your finances, coping with your own addiction or the addiction of someone else, or maybe you are having a hard time getting along with your spouse or a difficult teenager?  There is relief….The first step, which is the most difficult, is making the call to seek help and direction for a better life.

Suzanne Specializes In: Relationship Problems, Recovery & Strengthening, Depression, Anxiety, and Stress Management, Sexual Addiction/Love Addiction & Co-Dependency (women & men), Addictions (drugs, alcohol, shopping, etc),Trauma ,Personal/Sports/and Corporate Coaching. Clinical Training: CSAT : Suzanne is trained in sexual addictions from the prestigious IITAP institute and Patrick Carnes, EMDR (eye movement and desensitization and reprocessing):

Suzanne offers this processing technique for relief from traumas, anxiety, depression, addictions, fears, phobias, and test anxiety.  EMDR can also enhance sports and speaking/professional performances, Prepare/Enrich: Suzanne can help you learn how to build stronger relationships through communication and conflict resolution skill building.  This program is ideal for premarital counseling, marriage preparation, marriage counseling, and marriage enrichment, Suzanne earned her MS in Counseling Psychology from Palm Beach Atlantic University.

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