Women who suspect their husband’s porn addiction report a feeling of loneliness and a lack of emotional connection with their spouse. These women may feel they are not sexy or pretty enough and go to extremes to make themselves more sexually attractive or available. Many times this will include engaging in sexual acts they find degrading and humiliating just to attempt to satisfy their husband’s insatiable sexual appetite.
In July, 2010 The Washington Times reports 30% of internet pornography is viewed by women. Women can become as easily addicted to pornography as men. Christian women are not immune to the addictive qualities of pornography. In 2003, Today’s Christian Women reports the one in six Christian women struggle with pornography as an addiction.
You may be thinking: “What’s the big deal with viewing pornography in the privacy of my own home? I am not exposing anyone else to what I view.” When we visualize an object to achieve sexual gratification, we are creating barriers to connect intimately with our spouse. Your real life mate cannot compete with the images on your computer screen. No one can perform at that level or look like the actors do on a continual ongoing basis, nor should they. Sex is about a healthy, loving connection with another persona, accepting all of their flaws and loving them just the way they are. This becomes extremely difficult if you have spent hours on-line watching hard-core pornography.
In Treating Porn Addiction by Kevin B. Skinner, Ph.D. we must consider the consequences of the addiction:
- Emotionally: Endorphins flooding the brain create an emotional state very similar to being high on drugs.
- Relationships: Creates an environment of mistrust. The loyalty and commitment towards one another disintegrates.
- Family: The needs of children are often neglected as the addict focus on self.
- Socially: Many times the addict will limit how close they allow people to get to them in fear they may hurt that person, or that the addiction may be exposed.
- Spiritually: Many addicts wonder is God really does care about them or if they are forgotten. Spirituality diminishes during the addiction period. Many times the addict simply pulls away from God out of shame and guilt.
- Financially: Forbes.com estimates a $14 Billion porn business in 2010.
- Work/School: Staying up late into the night creates tardiness and diminishes focus on important aspects of work or school.
- Withdrawal Symptoms: Can last for weeks and can include insomnia, irritability, genital discomfort or pain, headaches, anxiety and depression.
- Sexually: Erotic material takes away from real and fulfilling intimacy. A person’s perception of sex becomes warped and scarred.
I May be Addicted: Now What?
The first step in treating any addiction is recognizing that there is a problem. Many times addicts will venture in and out of denial about the degree of their addiction. This is why it is so important to join a 12-step group such as SA, SAA, SLAA, COSA (for the spouse) or Celebrate Recovery. Equally important is individual therapy with a therapist trained in sexual addiction. The therapist’s expertise will help guide you down a path of recovery and self- renewal. Breaking free from the grips of pornography addiction can be a daunting task. Here at Life Counseling Solutions in Longwood, Florida, we understand the difficulty you may be facing as an addict or a spouse. Call me, Suzanne Rucker at (407) 967-9313, for an appointment towards healing and a restored relationship.
Suzanne Rucker, Licensed Mental Health Counselor
EMDR & ASAT Certified
www.SuzanneRucker.com
LifeCounselingSolutions@gmail.com
(407) 967-9313
Suzanne would like to help her clients find happiness in life. Are you depressed or anxious wondering how you can get through the next day? Do you feel over-worked and under-appreciated? Do you have a difficult maintaining your weight, managing your finances, coping with your own addiction or the addiction of someone else, or maybe you are having a hard time getting along with your spouse or a difficult teenager? There is relief….The first step, which is the most difficult, is making the call to seek help and direction for a better life. Suzanne Specializes In: Relationship Problems, Recovery & Strengthening, Depression, Anxiety, and Stress Management, Sexual Addiction/Love Addiction & Co-Dependency (women & men), Addictions (drugs, alcohol, shopping, etc),Trauma ,Personal/Sports/and Corporate Coaching. Clinical Training: CSAT : Suzanne is trained in sexual addictions from the prestigious IITAP institute and Patrick Carnes, EMDR (eye movement and desensitization and reprocessing): Suzanne offers this processing technique for relief from traumas, anxiety, depression, addictions, fears, phobias, and test anxiety. EMDR can also enhance sports and speaking/professional performances, Prepare/Enrich: Suzanne can help you learn how to build stronger relationships through communication and conflict resolution skill building. This program is ideal for premarital counseling, marriage preparation, marriage counseling, and marriage enrichment, Suzanne earned her MS in Counseling Psychology from Palm Beach Atlantic University.
