Many people feel intimidated and scared by the thought of couples therapy. It’s no surprise, since people often feel awkward and uncomfortable when meeting someone new, especially if they’re telling a stranger about their intimate struggles. Naturally, couples will attempt to figure out the problems themselves to either save money or save themselves from embarrassment. If you are someone who chooses to go down that road, then there are some free pieces of advice that couples therapists want you to know.
Going With The Flow Doesn’t Exactly Work
Just doing what comes naturally to you in a relationship may not be the best method for a happy and successful relationship. Learning to make your own flow instead of just going with the flow can help you nurture your emotional and sexual connection with your partner. That means you need a healthy and balanced connection with the right set of relationship skills, rather than doing the same thing over and over that isn’t working.
The Same Fight Is A Serious Issue
Couples tend to cling to the familiar unconsciously, hoping that similar situations will turn out differently and ease the pain. However, paying serious attention to these issues will help you see the pattern, get down to the core of the problem, and promote growth in the relationship. Don’t think your relationship will just fix itself in dramatic fashion like the movies. In real life, you should take time to let each other into your internal world and speak about your feelings.
Always Remember To Be Compassionate
There will be plenty of fights and disagreements that unfortunately cause each other pain. But, therapists say that it’s not so much the fight that matters as much as the repair. Learning to always remain empathetic and compassionate with one another can help couples overcome temporary issues and likely even strengthen relationships.
Use Anger
“Wait, what did you just say?” Yes! You can actually use anger to help your relationship. Being angry can actually allow you to reflect and think about why you’re angry, figure out what’s wrong, and consider the steps to fix the issue. Staying mad is not what you want to do, instead use anger to your advantage by cooling down and letting it lead you to the core of the problem
Give Tough Talks The Time They Need
It’s already extremely hard to talk about your feelings, but the tough talks can be the worst. You probably want to get through them as fast as possible. Nevertheless, in order to have a successful relationship, you need to give these talks the time and space they require. Talk face to face in a location free of distractions and stay focused. Time outs are okay if necessary, but always come back to it.
If you are having trouble with your relationship, try enacting these rules for successful relationships. If that doesn’t prove to be successful, then seriously consider the assistance of a licensed therapist. Many people come to therapy many years too late. Don’t be one of those people and get help for you and your relationship!
