Like drugs abuse for someone addicted to drugs, addictive sexual fantasies and thoughts/actions trigger a neurochemical release resulting in feelings of pleasure, a much-needed distraction, something exciting to distract, and a feeling of control. This fantasy-induced neurochemical release includes a combination of dopamine (pleasure), oxytocin (love), serotonin (mood stability), adrenaline (anxiety, fear) and endorphins (mild euphoria).
Individuals who struggle with a level of psychological issues such as depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, attachment disorders, and any type of trauma (emotional, sexual, verbal) can, even unconsciously, learn to abuse the neurochemical cascade the brain releases, through sexual fantasy and behavior. This neurochemical release helps to cope with stressors and mask emotional pain. When the behavior is repeated the brain learns a way to feel better which is to engage in more and more of the same activity. Over repeated behavior, the brain becomes hardwired for sexual addiction.
So it’s not about sex. Sex addicts get hooked on the numbing euphoria produced by their intense sexual fantasy life and its related ritualistic patterns of thoughts and actions. Sex addicts typically find as much excitement and escape in fantasizing about and “cruising” for their next sexual encounter as in the sex act itself. There may be hours spent, sometimes even days, in this elevated state—high on the idea of having sex—without any physical contact and without engaging in any concrete sexual act… yet.